Wednesday, January 24, 2007

If I could, I would

live on Pinot Noir, bread pudding and Sour Patch Kids
be cooler than Patti Smith
make Johnny Depp realize he’s neither cool nor French
play the piano like Oscar Peterson
sing like Sarah Vaughn
bring Jeff Buckley back to life
party with Sam Peckinpah and Keith Richards
cook like Chef Pepin
marry Jon Stewart
lock Bill O’Reilly with Tarantino's gimp
make it impossible for Ann Coulter to get a vibrator
feed the vegans
liberate the Anne Geddes babies
hide Billie Joe Armstrong’s eyeliner from him
ban anything Uggs
star in a Godard film
never misspell another word

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