I Love to Hate Valentine's Day

I absolutely loathe V-Day. If you take into consideration that 85% of the Valentine cards are purchased by women, that leaves15% purchased by men and children. If you take statistics/polls seriously, that means 70% of those women get zip. It's sad and pathetic. It should really be called Horrible Service at a Restaurant Day or Cheap Stuffed Animal Made in China Day.

I spend this hideous "holiday" in the company of a bucket of lard, aka Chocchocchip Haagen Dasz ice cream and a favorite romantic movie. Yes, in many of the titles below, the lovers don't end up together. I enjoy pining and brooding via proxy. It's a guilty pleasure of mine and I subscribe to the notion that the artist must be unhappy to be creative. Hey, it works for me. So, you won't find Somewhere in Time, The Notebook or Sleepless in Seattle in the list below.



It Happened One Night (Frank Capra)

I fell in love with Claudette Colbert. There is absolutely no kissing or sex, yet it's one of the sexiest movies ever.



The Shop Around the Corner (Ernst Lubitsch)

I fell in love with Jimmy Stewart.



The Awful Truth (Leo McCarey)

I fell in love with Mr. Smith. Best comic performance by a canine ever.



Notorious (Alfred Hitchcock)

It's not about the evil Germans plotting; it's about those four-second kisses between Bergman and Grant. And they are not gonna be eating chicken.



The Apartment (Billy Wilder)

How can you not fall in love with Jack Lemmon, the best actor ever? The man could do it all.




Un Coeur en Hiver (Claude Sautet)

Even though he was a son of a bitch, I fell in love with Daniel Auteil and his character while watching this one. This is my favorite scene. Camille loses it completely, without any regard to pride. I'm envious. I wish I could do that.



Chungking Express (Wong Kar Wai)

I fell in love with Tony Leung when he started talking to inanimate objects.



In The Mood for Love (Wong Kar Wai)

I fell in love with slo-mo Maggie Cheung.



Annie Hall (Woody Allen)

The funniest movie about relationships ever. Actually, funniest movie ever.



Before Sunset (Richard Linklater)

I fell in love with Julie Delpy. The best scene Linklater has ever directed.



Two Days in Paris (Julie Delpy)

If she fulfills her potential as a writer-director, neurotic and hilarious Delpy may just be the female, French Woody Allen.




A Short Film About Love (Krysztof Kieslowski)

My kind of ending: satisfying because it does not have a conclusion.



Three Colors: Red (Krysztof Kieslowski)

Kieslowski made films that connected people and acknowledge a force that's greater than themselves.



Wings of Desire (Wim Wenders)

An angel would never choose to become human just to be with me.



La Notte (Michelangelo Antonioni)

I knew marriage was not for me after watching this one.



Scenes from a Marriage (Ingmar Bergman)




The Piano Teacher (Michael Haneke)

A strange type of love, but still, love.




Talk to Her (Pedro Almodovar)

A dance of perversity, longing and desire.



An Affair of Love (Frederic Fonteyne)

Yep, things are never simple between a man and a woman.





Something's Gotta Give (Nancy Meyers)

There are three reasons to watch this one. Diane Keaton, Diane Keaton and Diane Keaton.




All the Real Girls (David Gordon Green)

Green is not interested in disingenuous clichés and poses, and his rejection of the genre's most hackneyed conventions comes in the form of unabashed sincerity. The love-struck dialogue is spoken with the gravity that comes from people wholly enraptured by their newfound emotions.



Once (John Carney)

My favorite song and scene from the movie.



The Lake House (Alejandro Agresti)

Yep, I confess. I liked it. You know, I'm not a Keanu hater.



The Lovers on the Bridge (Leos Carax)




Children of the Century (Diane Kurys)

Juliette Binoche as Georges Sand. What could be more perfect?




Dolls (Takeshi Kitano)




The Last Mistress (Catherine Breillat)





The Horseman on the Roof (Jean Paul Rappeneau)




And, even though it's flawed, it's close to my heart since it was my first film.

Nocturnal Emissions, Part III

Boy wants girl. Girl talks too much. Love sucks.

Is it true that the few remaining truths are graffiti, suicide notes, and shopping lists?

Umberto Eco recently said in an interview "I like lists for the same reason other people like football or pedophilia." Read full interview here.

I agree that lists can be anti-democratic, discriminatory, elitist, and sometimes the print is too small. Still, I make lists to try to put my life in some kind of order, but once I make them, I never look at them again. Even shopping lists. The list below is an attempt to make sense of my movie watching experience this year.

The Best:

The Headless Woman
Antichrist
Tulpan
The Hurt Locker
The Beaches of Agnes
You the Living
Up
O’Horten
Lorna’s Silence

Women Without Men
Tokyo Sonata
Liverpool
An Education
The White Ribbon
Adoration

I can’t believe I actually sat through and endured these, one of which almost turned me into a francohater:

Paris 36
Little Ashes
The Stoning of Soraya M
Blue Balls aka The Watchmen
What Goes Up
State of Play

Three of the most disappointing came from three of my favorite directors:

Broken Embraces
The Limits of Control
Whatever Works

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
The Road

Documentaries I enjoyed:

The Guest of Cindy Sherman
No Impact Man
Food, Inc.
Chelsea on the Rocks

The Yes Men Fix the World

Treats on the big screen:

A Foreign Affair
Rosemary’s Baby
Imitation of Life (Sirk’s)
Le Doulos
Rififi

The best movie watching experience of my life:

A restored print of The Gold Rush at Royce Hall.



It was an okay year I guess. I did not list the mediocre movies since there are too many of them and they are mostly forgettable. There’s still 6 weeks left in the year, and, since it’s Oscar Hopeful Rollout Season, I doubt this list will change much. Also, I’m sure I’m leaving out some films, but that’s another list for another day.

Life is like a box of bad southern accents.

These are just my current observations since I’ve only seen three (In Bruges, The Dark Knight, Vicky Cristina Barcelona) of the nominees. I will see Milk and Frozen River soon. I have no intention of watching Forest Gump Reloaded. For the rest, I will wait to get my free screening invites. I know I’m not supporting the local economy, but I only pay for foreign language movies.

Best motion picture of the year

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" As I said, Forest Gump Reloaded.

"Frost/Nixon" I think I’d rather see the actual interviews, which are out on DVD.

"Milk" Forget it. Brokeback Mountain already got it.

"The Reader" A holocaust movie would normally have a better than good chance but the top contenders are Benjamin and Slumdog. They’ll give it to Kate.

"Slumdog Millionaire" Danny Boyle has yet to make a bad movie, so, even if this one is not his best, it has the feel good factor on its side. It’d be an upset if it didn’t win. Plus, Mumbai, you know…terrorists and all. Yea, it’s gonna win.

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor”: Crap. I missed the free screening. I’ll push it up my Netflix queue.

Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon"

Sean Penn in "Milk"

Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button": Only one thing comes to mind when I see or hear this name. Brad is fucking JC.

Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler": I think this is pretty much a done deal unless Bono starts campaigning for Brad.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Josh Brolin in "Milk": I like Josh, but he’s a wife beater.

Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder": This is the Academy’s idea of an African American nominee this year. They must have missed Forest Whitaker in Vantage Point. Denzel, where are you?


Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight": I suspect they gave him the Globe so they wouldn’t have to waste the Oscar on a dead dude, but there isn’t much competition in this category. Slam dunk.

Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road”: I don’t even know who this dude is.

Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt": As if he cares.

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married": Cue ball eye lids has no chance against Kate.

Angelina Jolie in "Changeling": Probably not, since the consensus was that the movie was not very good. Newsflash: I like her now that I found out Brad is screwing JC. Turns out Angie has a tattoo of a crucifix on her khunt-adjacent region. Now, that’s what I call a sense of humor.

Meryl Streep in "Doubt": Hey, what happened to Mamma Mia nomination?

Kate Winslet in "The Reader": Holocaust movie and British actor. I can’t think of a more winning combination. Can you?

Melissa Leo in "Frozen River"

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

This is where the big bucks will be made. I’m waiting to see what the Vegas odds are. But since there are no other African American nominees and The Messiah is now Prez….you do the math. Viola or Taraji.

Amy Adams in "Doubt"
Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Viola Davis in "Doubt"
Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler": You have to be kidding me. She should show up and return the Oscar she already got.

Best animated feature film of the year

"Bolt" Chris Williams and Byron Howard
"Kung Fu Panda" John Stevenson and Mark Osborne

"WALL-E" Andrew Stanton: The geniuses of Pixar will definitely get it.

Achievement in cinematography

"Changeling" Tom Stern
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Claudio Miranda
"The Dark Knight" Wally Pfister
"The Reader" Chris Menges and Roger Deakins

"Slumdog Millionaire" Anthony Dod Mantle:
Tony, I call him Tony, shot Festen (The Celebration to you philistines), one of my top twenty (I love you Ulrich!) and many cool movies. I really, really, really hope he wins.

Achievement in directing

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" David Fincher: I have nothing against Fincher, just Brad and Forest Gump.

"Frost/Nixon" Ron Howard: I have lots against Opie. As a director, not as a person.

"Milk" Gus Van Sant: As long as his movies are financed, I don’t really care. He can direct Will Good Hunting Redux and I wouldn’t diss him

"The Reader" Stephen Daldry: Sorry. Tough competitors. There’s always next year.

"Slumdog Millionaire" Danny Boyle: Fincher is his only competition. And Boyle has directed more and better movies.

Best documentary feature

"The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)": A woman cinematographer’s first directorial debut. Love it.

"Encounters at the End of the World": I just want to see if Werner shows up to the ceremony. I have to admit I’d be very disappointed if he did.

"Man on Wire": This is the best suspense thriller of the year, bur frankly, I don’t know if I can sit through it. The subject unnerves me.

"The Garden"

"Trouble the Water"

Best foreign language film of the year

I haven’t seen them. I know I said I only pay for foreign movies, but what I meant by foreign was, French movies through the 1960s.

"The Baader Meinhof Complex" - Germany
"The Class" - France
"Departures" - Japan
"Revanche" - Austria
"Waltz with Bashir" - Israel

Adapted screenplay

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Screenplay by Eric Roth: Eric shamelessly plagiarizes a movie he already won an Oscar for. F. Scott Fizgerald my ass. Roth is my screenwriting role model.

"Doubt" Written by John Patrick Shanley: It’s a play, not a movie. Blah, blah, blah…

"Frost/Nixon" Screenplay by Peter Morgan

"The Reader" Screenplay by David Hare

"Slumdog Millionaire" Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy: Start making room on your mantle Simon.

Original screenplay

"Frozen River" Written by Courtney Hunt

"Happy-Go-Lucky" Written by Mike Leigh: Mike deserves an Oscar for every film he has written and directed. Period.

"In Bruges" Written by Martin McDonagh: My kind of movie. Scabrously funny, gloriously irreverent and black as night. No chance in hell.

"Milk" Written by Dustin Lance Black

"WALL-E" Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon

I will update as I see more movies. I have to admit I’m very disappointed in the Academy. Only three black nominees in this entire list, including Robert Downey Jr. Whatever happened to Change and Hope? Oprah is not going to be happy. No siree.